What my deal has been lately

My new job with Verizon came as a godsend for me. For the last few years, my life has felt like a never-ending whirlwind of change. I feel like I’ve been caught between 1st and 2nd gear for a long time now, but since getting this position, all I can think about is how grateful I am to finally have something that I feel confident I can succeed at, and I have faith that it will finally take me to the places in my career and in my life that I want to go.

I smile while I’m at work, and I do everything possible to outshine my best from the day before. I intentionally push myself too hard, and set impossible expectations, because if I keep doing that, one day, what’s impossible today, will happen, and in the meanwhile, I’ll already be working towards something even better. 

When I’m home, I battle the pain of what I’ve been through, as I’m constantly reminded about what the consequences are for your actions. Some nights are easier than others, but some nights I feel almost crushed by the sheer amount of work I have ahead of me. 

I’ve consciously made the choice to cut a lot of people out my life in order to put more focus and energy on this self-project. I know it will take a lot of work, and I may lose some people that are important to me, but I have to do it, and I have to build up my life to be stronger and more supportive than ever before- because I know that one day my life will include more than just me, and I want to be ready for when that dream comes true. 

Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.

  

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